To Have Is Not To Possess, Because To Possess Is Not To Love

To have is not to possess, because to possess is not to love

Even today, many people confuse possession with true love. Has a relationship in which one wants to own the other ever worked? Why do we only experience problems by thinking this way?

Today we will find out how big the differences are between having and owning and how much this has to do with loveā€¦or how little. Read with me!

Having someone has nothing to do with possession

While we may initially think that having and owning are related, in reality there is a huge gap between these two terms when it comes to relationships. Having someone in no way implies that we own them and this is something that we really need to keep in mind.

Having someone means that we count on that special person who is by our side without being obligated to do so. That person we love and long for, but who we know is free. He gives us his company, he loves us, he shares his life with us, but he does this in complete freedom.


Just because that other person wants to be with us, doesn’t mean we own him. We must realize that people are not objects and under no circumstances are they obliged to stay by our side forever. They are free!

Wanting to possess someone often indicates insecurity, because as we said, people are not objects. People come and go, they enter and leave our life. Despite the fact that we count on them in our lives, we cannot stop them because we do not own them. Possession is not love. Possession is uncertainty, it is fear, it is an attempt to hold on to that which cannot be held.

Confusing love with possession

How do we know if we are confusing love with possession? The most notable way in which possessiveness manifests itself is jealousy. If someone is overly jealous, then it means that person wants to possess their partner. Perhaps he has a misconception of what love is. He may not be aware that behind his possessiveness lies a completely unwarranted fear.

This is why confusing love with possession is not just a trivial matter, but one that leads to extremely unpleasant situations that can destroy relationships, especially people. Why are we going this far? Why is it so hard not to want to own others?

Man and Woman in the Clouds

Maybe it’s because of all those love stories we’ve seen that promise us a happy ending every time. Maybe because all those “together forever” stories are simply nothing more than make-up and perfect descriptions of possessiveness.

Free love, perfect love

How many times have you started a relationship and were aware that it might end sooner than you expected? Isn’t it true that the promises of eternal love and the image of taking outings together overflow our minds? Without realizing it, we expose ourselves to suffering.

We don’t even know what it’s like to have a partner without the need to own them, to have them all to ourselves, to worry about whether or not they’re interested in other people, to be suspicious and to think that he will leave us. What is our response? Anger, jealousy and an obvious struggle to make it clear that he is ours and nobody else’s.

We have to be open-minded, we have to put that outdated love-possession relationship behind us once and for all. Instead of love-owning, we are now open to love-having. Having someone who shares his life with us, but who we don’t own, because he is free.

Blow away dust

But we love to believe in those end-all-good stories and those romantic movies that don’t even show a fraction of what it really is. How do you behave in relationships? Do you find it difficult to love without possessing? Think carefully about this and change your perception if necessary. Love should be about happiness and freedom, not about suffering and possessions.

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