In everyone’s life, that moment will come when he finally takes that important step. Finally we free ourselves from certain situations, from certain things and sometimes even from people who, instead of doing us good, do us harm. This act of personal courage is called selfish by many, but I call it self-love.
We must keep in mind that this psychological idea is not always fully understood. Traditionally, the idea of self-love has often been associated with certain narcissistic ideas and with that individualistic egocentrism that only seeks its own benefit. However, this is not entirely true.
There is only one form of love that should last an eternity, and that is self-love. Dignity comes at a very high price and we should not accept ‘price reductions’…
There is a widespread opinion among psychologists and other experts on emotional issues that people, in general, are “scholars in rational matters, but illiterate in emotional matters.” Suppressing what you feel or want is not healthy. Nor is it healthy not to have respect and empathy for the needs of others.
You are not selfish if you say ‘no’ once, no one should be judged when he finally mustered up the courage to say… ‘enough is enough’. We would really like you to think about this for a moment!
A lack of self-love fuels our fears
A lack of self-love fuels our fears and makes us vulnerable. To understand this idea a little better, we must turn to the fascinating world of neuroscience.
According to a study conducted by the University of Dartmouth (New Hampshire, United States), the part of the brain associated with self-confidence and self-love is called the frontostriatal circuit.
The greatest activity that takes place in this powerful part of the brain is our self-confidence. A common misconception that people have about this part of the brain is that people who have a lot of self-confidence and a strong sense of self-love are almost always intelligent and successful.
However, this is not true, one is in any case not connected to the other. In fact, researchers are very clear about one aspect: the activity in the frontostriatal circuit is a reflection of our emotional health: when there is little activity, the risk of anxiety, insecurities and, in the long term, depression, is a lot. taller.
From an emotional point of view, you can say that people who don’t care about themselves and don’t give themselves the credit they deserve, look for others to fill this role for them, thus disguising those shortcomings in order to feel “confident.” They have a very intense need for recognition and affection. Far from being self-sufficient with a good dose of self-love, these people are actually prisoners of the wishes of others, slowly starting their own self-destruction.
The subtle connection between self-confidence and self-love
Sometimes we are tempted by the subtle thought that it is always better to serve the things outside of us than to listen to the needs of our inner being. This fact is caused by our parenting patterns, different environments or the people around us, all of which can damage our self-confidence.
The worst happens when this external conditioning causes us to need the acceptance of others to maintain our own emotional stability. All of this will make us go through life as broken people, broken into so many pieces that they need other people’s rules and beliefs to glue themselves back together, but eventually they will crumble again and left empty.
That is why we now explain how you can prevent this.
How to increase your self-love
When faced with a broken self-confidence, it is especially important to be aware of the ‘wound’, the fracture that has separated you from yourself.
- Practice emotional compensation: The reassurances for all your fears, the questions for all your emptiness and the relief from your suffering, cannot always be found outside of you, or in those around you. You have to find your own emotional compensation. The love that can help you in such cases is undoubtedly self-love.
- To boost your confidence, consider the following: Always trying to please everyone is exhausting, and doing this every day for the rest of your life can be devastating. It’s not real, and it’s not healthy. No one should be called selfish or cynical simply because he says what he thinks, because he practices sincerity that comes from respect, and because he knows how to set his limits to protect himself.
- To boost your confidence and develop a good dose of self-love, you should learn to see yourself as a valuable person. And you should continue to do this despite the mistakes you make or the number of times you fail. These mistakes don’t define who you are, who you are is determined by your ability to get back up after you’ve fallen.
So instead of constantly comparing yourself to others, or letting yourself be touched by malicious criticism, you should always maintain that bond of love you have with yourself. As Jiddu Krishnamurti once said, religion should simply be that you are able to love yourself.