To show perfect affection, we must accept each other’s imperfections. It means you don’t live in the perfect world of the Disney stories. Because that world of unconditional devotion, idealization and blind responsibilities does not exist.
The affection we’re talking about here is something completely different. It is not dependent, aggressive, passive or manipulative. But it is definitely a big challenge. It’s hard to nurture a love that doesn’t idealize. Because it’s hard to have realistic expectations.
It is important to emphasize this. When we talk about imperfections, we are not talking about abuse, aggression or any kind of destructive behavior. Because those behaviors are unbearable in any situation. We should always condemn that kind of behavior.
Falling in love is loving coincidences. To love is to fall in love with the differences
Falling in love is loving coincidences. To love is to fall in love with the differences. We are the ones who give the term “sincere” to stable love. Because it is worth going beyond infatuation and striving for acceptance in the relationship.
We can learn to tolerate mistakes that are only minor mistakes or differences in habits ( a few examples: not taking out the garbage on time, leaving the laundry on the washing line, giving more importance to others that are actually not so important, leaving a tube of toothpaste, etc.).
The disagreements are not what defines a relationship. If so, we were talking about a nightmare here. That’s why it’s important that we remember what is and isn’t healthy when choosing someone to spend the rest of our lives with.
The daily interactions define a couple
In many ways, conflict in a relationship simply has to do with different habits and/or priorities. So that means we have to make an effort to reconcile those differences.
Why is that necessary? There is no right or wrong in situations that don’t hurt our inner selves or our long-term expectations. Where we leave our stockings is not a relevant or exceptional matter.
In love we should talk to each other as equals. That means we must be aware of the duty to put up with things that we do not agree with and that are not so special.
Shared experiences shape us. We bask in feelings. That is genuine commitment. To maintain it, we must constantly examine our needs from the very beginning. We must avoid shifting the responsibility of our feeling of discomfort onto the faults we see in our partner.
Feelings differ from passion because they last and are not easy to break. Loving someone for their beauty is not love, it is infatuation. To love someone because he or she is intelligent is not love but admiration. On the contrary, when we love someone and we don’t know why, that is love.
Love, Accept and Appreciate
Love balances our inner and outer impulses. It is the axis that keeps our shared projects spinning smoothly. The most intense and invincible force is that which unites us in understanding and acceptance.
That also means appreciating and acknowledging your partner. You respect the other person, their personal space, their freedom, trust and communication. That includes community projects, generosity, and being happy because you’re with the person you love.
Why? Because we live in a world where romantic relationships endure more and more conflict. We look for perfection while not realizing that we are imperfect by nature.
Keeping this in mind, we will realize that only the love cherished in ‘perfect affection’ can save us from unhappiness. And that’s a good thing.
The perfect couple does not exist. Being a ” good couple” doesn’t really mean you don’t have problems. It does mean that you know how to solve problems. To love means to be in love with our differences. We see the good and the bad sides of our partner without rose-colored glasses.
The most beautiful place in the world is where we like to see and be seen. There we find tenderness, songs, trust, sincerity, value, you and me, tomorrow forever and ‘I’m happy when you are’. Where there is love, the heart can listen to its favorite music.