Seven Tips To Improve Your Arguing Skills

Seven tips to improve your arguing skills

Do you think arguing can be seen as an art form? Maybe not, but arguing doesn’t always have to turn into a very uncomfortable situation. So you don’t always have to do your best to avoid and avoid arguments. It’s just important to stay calm and use your common sense. As Noel Claraso once said, “Many yell and argue until the other person stops. They think they have convinced the other person with this, but they are always wrong.” This is a very incorrect, yet very common conclusion.

Remember that arguing can be annoying, but in some cases it’s just unavoidable. Whether with a family member, a partner, a friend, colleague or maybe even your boss. It is especially important to ensure that the argument does not become unpleasant. It should be a polite exchange of different points of view.

Tips to improve your arguing skills

As human beings, we will at times have disagreements with others. This is especially unavoidable in many cases that call for a little assertiveness. At times like these, it can be very helpful to have clear points of view. This will prevent you from worrying for days about things that shouldn’t be so important to you:

  • Remember that it is important to always remain calm. Strangely enough, not many people like it when someone else starts yelling at them. You can rely on this. Then why should you be the one who yells? So it’s important to make sure that you don’t get upset too quickly and that you always try to stay relaxed, in a supportive environment. Remember that an argument is simply a situation where two people stand against each other because they have different points of view.
  • Arguing properly is the same as building or creating something. In fact, you can learn a lot from a good conversation, even if you completely disagree with the other person’s point of view. Why not try to bridge the gap? Why not just focus on the things you do have in common, instead of constantly arguing and creating distinctions between you?
  • We started this article with a very wise quote from Noel Claraso. Interestingly enough, the ability to pull out of the argument in time, rather than let the argument escalate, points to a clear victory. If you can’t come to an agreement, then there’s no need to turn the conversation into insults, yelling, or slander. It’s best to just bite your tongue and focus on something more productive.
  • Forcing your opinion on someone else is quite different from arguing appropriately. The conversation should be guided by understanding and mutual agreement.
  • During any discussion it is necessary to listen actively. Monologues, however well substantiated they may be, do not have to be accepted by the listener. It is much more productive to understand the views of another than to be able to contrast those views with your own. That way you will find common ground and mutual understanding.
  • Being forgiving and being able to apologize are the perfect tools for a good fight. These aids are especially important in quarrels between partners, friends and relatives. There is absolutely no point in forcing someone into a position where no one feels comfortable. Notice the things you both did wrong, set these things right or try to reverse them.
  • In order to argue properly, it is important to avoid some phrases at all times. For example, never say ‘I told you so’, ‘I knew’, ‘You can’t understand this’ or ‘Don’t act like that’, ‘If you would have done what I told you then…’, ‘ You are also so ignorant.” In other words, try not to say things that you know will hurt the other person greatly. This is a serious mistake that you should avoid if you don’t want the situation to end.

Arguing well is not the same as winning

In order to argue well, it is important to remember that the situation should always remain a conversation. It’s not competition. Let us not forget the great statement of the French writer Joseph Joubert: “The aim of any discussion should not be victory, but progress”.


Both people can enrich themselves equally if they are able to maintain a positive and constructive attitude during the argument. However, as both people become increasingly distant, this mutual benefit will turn into anger, impotence, and even rage.

So don’t forget that a good fight never has to have negative aspects. You can avoid this by approaching these kinds of situations from the right attitude. With patience, understanding and a willingness to learn from others and enrich your own points of view, everything will be a lot easier.

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