Putting Yourself First Is Healthy, Not Selfish

Putting yourself first is healthy, not selfish

Putting yourself first is a healthy, beneficial, and necessary practice. It’s not selfish, because feeling unwavering love for the person we see in the mirror, without apologies or judgment, is self-care.

It is investing in our own personal well-being and our own quality of life. And besides, only if you take care of yourself the way you deserve, can you take care of someone else.

Interestingly, none other than Socrates himself focused some of his teachings on the concept of self-care, or what was then called “epimeleia heautou.”

Later, Michel Foucault would further analyze the idea and come to the following conclusion: only when a person succeeds in really knowing himself, taking care of himself and appreciating himself, can he achieve true freedom.

The truth is, we don’t know when or why most of us were taught that this was a selfish attitude to have. Terminologies got mixed up, leading us to believe that altruism and respect for other people is totally incompatible with self-love or putting ourselves first as we should. This view, however, is plainly wrong.

Almost without realizing it, we have built relationships based on sacrifice. Based on the idea that the more we give to others, the more they will love us and the more they will appreciate us.

But what we end up doing is giving up on self-love, we abandon ourselves. We don’t look back and we think we’re doing things right, doing what’s expected of us.

We must try to stop this unhealthy habit. Why? In fact, it causes many of our problems: frustration, anxiety, sleepless nights and even physical pain…

Girl who knows: putting yourself first is healthy

If we stop putting ourselves first, we will exhaust ourselves

When we stop putting ourselves first and instead fill our heads with thoughts like ‘I have to do this and that’, ‘I have to help so-and-so’ or ‘they expect me to go there’, all you do is exhaust yourself. you eventually reach.

It robs you of your energy, identity, desires and most importantly your self-esteem. The hardest part is that sometimes we do these things without even thinking about it. We never take a moment to ask ourselves if we really want to do that particular favor.

Psychologists explain that we make the mistake of just doing things automatically and then rationalizing these actions as natural and necessary. We think we are valuable when we are useful to others. That if our loved ones need us, they will love us.

However, this does not always give the expected results; in fact, it rarely does.

What does happen in these cases, on the other hand, is as devastating as it is sad. When we realize that our efforts and constant sacrifices are not valued, we develop a very critical view of ourselves. We blame ourselves for being so naive, so committed, so gullible.

That inner voice can be very cruel at times. If we go overboard on this, it won’t be long before somatization (also known as Briquet’s syndrome) sets in. Muscle aches, gripping fatigue, digestive problems, infections, headaches, even hair loss…

Learn to “Serve Yourself”

There are many people who completely forget this, who are stuck in other people’s schedules, like trains traveling on the tracks of other places, other worlds. They carry burdens that are not theirs, and do not get a single day off. A day to be themselves, take care of themselves and do what they want.

Being in this situation for a long time endangers our psychological balance and our health. Therefore, we recommend that you get rid of this inertia and give yourself a new focus.

Girl who knows: putting yourself first is healthy

Putting yourself first: this is how you do it in four steps

  • Time . People who have stopped putting themselves first automatically and always say ‘yes’. It is their magical answer to every request. If you are one of these people, it is important that you curb this impulse.

So, when someone asks, suggests, or demands something, it’s best to keep quiet for a while. We must avoid reacting immediately so that we can think for a moment and honestly assess whether we want to do what the other person asks of us. Learn to say ‘NO’.

  • Perspective. In order to learn how to take care of ourselves, we need to control our distance from our environment. This means we have to make it either bigger or smaller. Because if you’re used to doing absolutely everything all the time, there will come a time when you forget what’s important.

Saying ‘I don’t want to, I can’t, today I put myself first’ is therefore not the end of the world.

  • Useful phrases. It never hurts to have a small collection of phrases that can help us protect our own needs, identity, or leisure.

“I’m sorry, but right now what you’re asking of me isn’t working out for me,” “I appreciate it occurred to you to ask me for this, but I need some time to myself,” “Right now I don’t mind doing what you ask of me, I need to spend some time alone.’

  • Stop certain conversations. We all know how these conversations start, those conversations that always end in a request. They go well until the pleasure suddenly ends when the other asks for a favor. Usually assuming we will.

Now that we have some strategies in our toolbox, we know how to stop such conversations as quickly as possible. This way we avoid exhausting ourselves and learn to be assertive.

Putting yourself first is important

In summary, you won’t master these four steps overnight. If we use our willpower and make the firm decision to take better care of ourselves, and understand that putting ourselves first is truly a selfless and necessary action, we will get better at it every day. We will know how to take care of other people, but also how to take care of ourselves.

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