When you finally discover what lies beyond the boundaries of fear, behind the ‘you can’t do it’ or ‘you don’t know this’ that we all feel at times, nothing can stop you. Because the adventure of being yourself in a world that strives every day to fail, that is without a doubt the greatest achievement.
If you think about it, you realize that we live in a society where labels play an important role. It is a harmful mechanism used to classify people, limit them and keep them away from their own essence. Their own destiny. The worst part about this is that this is something we experience every day at school, at work, and even within our family.
We must free ourselves from the scars that these labels and attributions of others have created. To discover what we are, to reveal the splendor we carry within us, we must be courageous. We must break down the walls of fear and indecision.
Being yourself does not come naturally. It’s a constant battle. A path that you continuously create, crossing the border of fear a little more each time.
When you discover you have the power to decide
To be happy, you have to make decisions. You’ve probably heard this before, but are we actually putting it into practice? For this aspect, it may help to take a look at a moment from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. We are sure this will make you think.
At one point Alice asks the Cheshire Cat, “Can you tell me which path I have to take to get out of here?” The cat replies, “It depends where you want to go.” Alice replies that she doesn’t really care. The cat replies, “Well, then it doesn’t matter which path you choose.”
What can we learn from this?
In order to be ourselves, we must be consistent with the decisions we make. But in a world of limitless possibilities, you need to be clear about your priorities. If you’re not, there’s a good chance you’ll get lost.
To achieve this, it is worth putting into practice the following mechanisms:
- The expectations others have of us often determine the path we take. They take over bits of our lives until we have no voice left. Don’t allow it, find out where your priorities lie and fight for it. You can and should decide for yourself.
- Saying no to others when we deem it necessary is necessary and not selfishness. It’s an act of self-respect. He who discovers the value of saying no is released from an enormous burden.
- If you don’t know your path in life yet, take care of your values (yours, not someone else’s) and listen to your heart (yours, not someone else’s). The words they reveal will be the compass of the personal map of your daily life.
Everything you are capable of
We spend much of our lives surrounded by valuations. The things that make us free fall in our work, our circle of friends, and even our relationships. We should also not forget family ties. Fathers and mothers who label their children and program their future according to certain values, which are not always correct.
Later, we enter the complex world of school where we are judged by our grades and achievements, but not by our inner world beyond these established structures. Those who tell us what to do, according to what is expected of us. Because if you get a bad grade in math, don’t expect to become an engineer.
Many of us grow up with the idea that the opinions of others are very important. That is why we slowly create defensive boundaries and a comfort zone in which we can relax. We do this to follow the parameters that others have created for us.
Carl R. Rogers, a famous humanistic psychologist, found that there is nothing more frustrating than trying to be what others expect of you. It is this vital indifference that makes us sick and shuts us down. So it’s worth taking a moment to think about the following ideas.
No one discovers what he is until he notices everything. But in order to do this, you have to create your own opportunities. Dare to change scenarios, test yourself and discover how far you can go.
Josh Billing was a well-known comedian and writer of the nineteenth century who recommended: “Be like a postage stamp. Stick to something and don’t stop until you reach your destination.”
This is what we should be doing too. So don’t forget to turn on the light of your confidence and explore every corner of your soul to remember what your dreams are and above all to pay more attention to your wishes.