Narcissists Will Never Apologize

Although they can seem very charming, narcissists will never apologize. Narcissists will never be inclined to repair the damage they have caused, nor will they ever admit their mistakes. 
Narcissists will never apologize

From a distance, a narcissist with a plan can appear charming, confident, and even thoughtful. Still, there are a few things narcissists will never do, especially when it comes to relationships. For example , they will never apologize, never try to repair damage they have caused, and never admit they made a mistake.

According to experts in the field, this is due to the self-centered and domineering attitude that narcissists tend to have, which often lack even an ounce of empathy.

In any relationship, be it romantic, platonic, or familial, disagreements and friction are common. Moreover, it can even happen that we insult or hurt each other without realizing it.

When that happens, it’s best to sincerely apologize to restore trust and learn from what happened. The goal is to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

The more sociable and emotionally intelligent you are, the more likely you are to not only apologize but also try to do it as effectively as possible. Someone who is emotionally competent and mature approaches situations with sincerity, openness, and a desire to make amends.

However, what about narcissists, who apparently aren’t that mature emotionally? Studies such as the study conducted by Joost M. Leunissen and Constantine Sedikides at the University of Southampton shed a lot of light on this. Narcissists don’t always feel guilty for the bad things they do.

That means they may feel the social pressure to make amends, but when they do, they may experience inner conflict and even pain. This is because they struggle with their own desires.

Two men arguing with each other

Narcissists don’t do their apologies

Masterson (1981) reminds us that narcissism is on a spectrum. At one end of this spectrum, we have what is considered “normal.”

People who are on this side have their self-confidence more or less under control. At the other end of the spectrum, however, we have the pathology that defines Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

People with narcissistic personality disorder need to create and protect an inflated self-image. That is the only way to protect their weak and broken inner selves. Moreover, they need to radiate perfection and magnificence.

What happens when a narcissist commits a crime? For example, what happens when his partner points out his selfishness and lack of respect?

The answer to this is simple: the narcissist cannot take responsibility for anything. If he did, this confession would conflict with the perfect image of himself he so desperately wants to uphold.

Woman with a mirror

Narcissists want everyone to agree with them. They don’t want anyone to contradict them.

Andrew P. Morrison is an expert on narcissistic personalities. In the introduction to his own Essential Papers on Narcissism article , he argues that the main goal of narcissists is to find a “mirror person.” They want someone to agree with them all the time.

  • Narcissists prefer to associate with people who constantly remind them of their virtues. They want everyone to be the mirror of Snow White’s evil stepmother. This mirror told the queen every day that she was the most beautiful in the land.
  • Also, if your narcissists point out the mistakes they’ve made or the times they hurt you, it’s nearly impossible to get them to apologize.
  • Narcissists don’t apologize because they don’t feel guilty. Narcissists have no empathy. Because of this, they just can’t understand why the other person is hurt or why they are worried about something.
  • Moreover , narcissists have no problem telling the other person that this is entirely his fault. This is mainly due to the fact that narcissists view their relationships with others as means to an end.

You can imagine that such a dynamic can easily hurt a romantic relationship.

Narcissists will tell you it’s your fault

We know that narcissists never apologize. However, this can lead to something even more complex and contradictory.

  • It may not seem like it, but narcissists also struggle with certain things. They suffer a lot because they are always frustrated and bitter. Their lack of self-confidence constantly puts them on the battlefield trying to win the greatest weapon and the most impressive trophy.
  • Their need to appear perfect, efficient and vain often leads them straight to the wall of reality that does not tolerate this kind of attitude.
  • When you ask a narcissist to apologize for a concrete situation, he will make you feel like it was your own fault. Why? Because narcissists simply don’t understand, because they don’t see things the same way, or because they’re afraid people will think they’re weak or ignorant if they apologize.

Without realizing it , a narcissist can turn the whole situation around completely at a glance. Remember that narcissists are skilled manipulators. Because of this, you may end up asking them to be forgiven.

How can you get narcissists to apologize?

First, we need to remind you of something we talked about earlier in this article. There are many types of narcissism. At one end of the spectrum, we find narcissistic psychopaths.

These are people who seem to function perfectly and who appear to be completely normal. However, these people are also very good at hurting others emotionally.

  • Narcissists need specialized help. They need therapeutic guidance that helps them with things like antisocial reasoning, self-esteem, the illusion of superiority, accepting their own imperfections, and empathy, among other things. They must be fully aware of how they are hurting others with their behavior and attitude.
  • If you have to deal with a narcissist on a daily basis, you only have two options. You can act respectfully or not. In addition, you can help him change and get professional guidance or consider distancing yourself from him.

Many cases depend on the type of narcissism involved. There are heaps of variations on this spectrum. Don’t lose hope, there are plenty of things you can do. If you have a family member, partner, or friend with this trait, help them understand the impact of their behavior and try to get them to seek help.

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