Although I had expected my life to turn out a certain way, in the end life surprised me with something completely different, something I had never thought of before.
How many times have we experienced something like this? We spend most of our lives making plans for the things we want to achieve, sometimes hoping for unattainable things. And then suddenly our daily life is harmoniously merged with something that fills us with joy.
Often it feels like life is saying a hard “NO” to something, when in reality it is just asking us to wait, to wait just a little longer…
If you think about it, it takes a lot of effort to wait for the moment when life will finally change direction and wrap us in a blanket of happiness, encouragement, warmth and hope.
Maybe it will finally fulfill that professional dream that you have worked so hard for or maybe that person who fits right in your corner and completes your puzzle of happiness will finally walk into your life. There are plenty of things we dream about, wait patiently for, but lose hope more and more.
However, try to remember one thing: not everything you desire will be good for you in the end. So learn to understand that the wait itself was worth it. This points to a life that has been lived. And that is always important.
I expect so much that I’m tired of wanting it
Sometimes we expect so much from others that we can only end up being disappointed. Perhaps that’s why some people say that to avoid pain, it’s better to expect nothing at all from anyone or anything and that it’s better to expect everything from yourself.
However, we should make one thing clear: we also have a right to expect the best from the people we love. Simply because we believe in reciprocity, in the idea that when I offer you affection and commitment, I have a right to expect and receive the same in return.
When we wait for people to live up to our expectations, it shows that we need as little control as possible over our daily lives and our social and emotional relationships. When you know how someone will treat you, or when you know that your loved ones love, respect, and care about you, it removes the insecurity – which would be so hard to live with if you lost those roots, those emotional security, would not have – disappears.
Perhaps that’s why we get disappointed so often, especially when it’s a disappointment we didn’t see coming; a lie, aloofness, neglect.
Sometimes we wait for things that will not come. For example, it often happens that people fall in love with someone and later find out that this person is very different from what they thought.
Dreams fade. Later in life, however, the magic of change shows up and brings with it someone else, someone we didn’t expect, who can give us the gift of complete and true happiness.
Having no expectations gives you freedom
Having no expectations gives you freedom, there is no doubt about this. However, this does not mean that we have no right to plan or expect the reciprocity we talked about earlier. These are positive, necessary and recommendable aspects of expectations.
We know that it is not easy to adopt an attitude that is free from expectations. To do this and better understand the idea behind it, it may help to reflect on the following: “There were times when I expected so much from certain people that I myself became frustrated and wanted to distance myself from everything and everyone. ‘ We are sure that this phrase is not strange to you. Most of us have been in such a situation at some point. And from there we had to remind ourselves that it’s not worth treating the world, let alone yourself, that way. Don’t suffer more than necessary.
When you no longer have expectations, you will have more freedom in your daily life, which will make you calmer. You will be able to let things run their course so that they run the way they should.
It will always be better not to have too high expectations. Let things run their course, give the people around you the chance to show themselves who they are without you expecting anything from them. Only then will you be able to find out who does and doesn’t deserve you.
From now on, grant your relationships more trust and freedom. When you no longer have expectations, things will naturally come your way and you will no longer waste your time on negative energy (worry, fear). The people who love you will look for you and you will not have to wait for them.
–Images Courtesy of Cintya Thornson–