I Built My Life On A House Of Cards

I built my life on a house of cards

I’ve built my life on a house of cards, even if it took me a while to realize that. I thought I had a good hand, but suddenly lost the game. These cards were small achievements that I thought I had made little by little and lost in the blink of an eye with one windstorm.

I had the map of work, the map of independence, the map of freedom, and the map of trust. But a monster card called crisis suddenly entered the game with its own hand and my house was blown down by a hurricane that destroyed every floor, turning the walls into a pile of straw.

And then I realized that I hadn’t found these cards myself, but that they had been handed out to me.

When you encounter unexpected circumstances like this, the future, where you have put all your savingsseems to drift away. It’s like losing your life playing poker in the casino. Nothing is certain anymore, the world becomes nothing more than randomness and then your fears materialize.

We play the game of life with the cards we’ve been dealt

We often don’t realize that we are playing the game of life with the cards we’ve already been dealt and that it’s up to us to win the game. Chance puts us in situations we didn’t ask for, which can hurt us because we have no control over them.

What can you do when the cards you have received in life are not in your favor? How can you win the game of chance? What’s especially important is that you don’t lose your perspective. You can give up and let yourself be carried away by the sadness that fate has brought you, or you can fight to win.

In order to fight, you need different strategies that can work in your favor,  so when you get a bad hand, these coping strategies can help you. These so-called coping strategies are, according to  Lazarus  and Folkman, a set of cognitive and behavioral tools that you can use to manage internal and external demands that you feel are too much for you.

Win the game with coping strategies

In life you will encounter many difficult situations where no matter what happens you will suffer but you have to learn to accept them and live with them as just one more part of the life game. Keep going in spite of all the pain and fear.

Men Pushing Arms

Coping strategies not only help you deal with stress, but also teach you how to deal with the emotions related to the problems you face every day. But we often don’t use the right strategies and this is why we run into problems. According to Lazarus and Folkman, there are two types of coping strategies:

  • Problem-focused strategies:  These are used when the problem can be sustained, whether by changing the environment or by changing oneself. The two main strategies within this type are:
    – this involves tackling the problem directly.
    – this technique is used to find the best way to tackle a problem.
  • Emotion-focused strategies:  These are used when you cannot intervene because the problem is something that cannot be changed. Instead, you try to change the emotional significance of the stress you are feeling or, in other words, the way you interpret or look at what is happening. This includes:
    – denying the problem or forgetting that it exists.
    – don’t rush when the problem arises, keep it to yourself.
    – for the problem.
    – ask for help or advice to hear someone else’s perspective.

A special coping strategy is, which falls under both categories, because it can focus on both the emotions and the problem. This is because it depends on how you use that support and what you ultimately expect from it.

Girl Watching Sunset

Be careful! Not all coping strategies are suitable

Not every strategy we mentioned above is positive or suitable for solving problems. The strategies we’ve described above are the most common, according to the authors,  but distancing and confrontation often do more damage than help.

On the other hand  , planning, problem solving and positive re-evaluation are the most helpful  when it comes to tackling your problems, as they often lead to very positive results.

So when your house of cards collapses like a poorly built castle, use the best coping strategies to solve your problems. And if you do not know how to use them, seek psychological help so that you can learn it and so that chance and sadness do not win the game. You decide how to play the game of your own life. Fate gives you the cards, but you choose which one to play.

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