How Should I Deal With A Narcissist?

How should I deal with a narcissist?

A narcissistic attitude can sometimes become a real nightmare for those around them. It is not easy to deal with the paradox called narcissism. Narcissists magnify egos to an extreme extent. At the same time, they are as fragile and vulnerable as children. Inside that big head of a narcissist are insecurity and feelings of inferiority. 

People with a narcissistic personality are extremely dependent on the opinions of other people. They only feel good when they receive clear signals of admiration and approval. But the moment there’s even a shred of criticism, they cringe. Their reactions can be quite different. They may be angry and aggressive. Or they implode and become reserved and dramatically quiet.

This attitude is often accompanied by a huge ego. For the narcissist, everything begins and ends with the ego. It is very difficult for them to develop true empathy. Even if that doesn’t mean they’re totally indifferent. They simply see themselves as the most important and cannot put others above themselves. They feel unique.

The question is: how should you deal with such a person? We will give you some suggestions..

Narcissistic people are hypersensitive

Never forget this concept:  if someone has a narcissistic attitude, they do it to give themselves value. But deep down, they’re afraid they don’t really have that value at all. It’s a compensation mechanism. Like a peacock that spreads its feathers to appear threatening, when in fact it is very scared. All that bragging is just the way they express an inner conflict that they can’t resolve.

Woman blowing away dandelion seeds

That is why they are so sensitive to criticism and indifference. Be careful when dealing with such a person. You can easily hurt them and that will only make their problems worse. They want to receive praise, but you should only give it if they deserve it.

Criticism should be delicate, but also sincere. It is important to make them feel that they are not being questioned, but their actions.

Even if they don’t show it, a narcissistic person suffers a lot. It is likely that they have experienced some serious trauma in the past. They’re just trying to live with experiences they haven’t quite digested yet.

Don’t be manipulated by a narcissist

A narcissistic person can also be manipulative. They will try to make you think the way they want to. So you say what they want you to say. That way you turn into a confirmation of the idea they want to believe in.

They may also be very good at it. Plus, they’ll try to show you how awesome they think they are. They may convince you that they are quite intelligent and charming.

Bridge hangs on hot air balloons

Unfortunately, these types of people also underestimate the people around them. This helps them maintain their fantasy that they are superior. It is not uncommon for them to look for a way to disqualify you or minimize your performance. If it’s someone you love, let them see how all this makes you feel.

What a person with narcissistic traits needs is that they believe in themselves more. To feel true self-love. If they love themselves, they will no longer need to boost their egos to feel that they matter. On the other hand,  if the people around them fall for their game and allow themselves to be manipulated, this will actually strengthen their attitude.

How can you help a narcissist

What a narcissist needs is the exercise in humility. What can sometimes help are small daily activities, such as putting up with a long line or letting someone go first. It is also important to help them understand the importance of delegation and to notice the good things that others are doing.

A rose as a sail on a sailboat

These kinds of people need us to let themselves see their achievements and their good sides. With patience and respect, you can help this person to love themselves more. Or make them see that their achievements are real, but that they don’t make them superior. And that they also make mistakes and screw things up, but that doesn’t make them inferior.

The most important thing to remember is not to fall into their trap of “bringing you down.” It will only create bad feelings that will hinder any progress. If a narcissist lacks something, it is true love and acceptance. Remember that love conquers all, especially when a lack of it makes a person sick.

Thanks to Rafal Olbinski for the featured image 

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