How Impulsivity Hurts Us

Are there any benefits to impulsivity? Impulsivity hurts us and those around us. And what’s worse, it’s something that is unconscious and leads us to regret our words or actions, but we can’t turn it back.

That’s why  it’s important that you learn to control your impulsiveness and think better before you act.

If someone has told you something and you respond with a wrong answer; if they ask you a question and you say the first thing that comes to mind; if you are the first to start an argument; if something goes wrong and you start throwing things or you start yelling like a little kid, you may be having problems with impulsivity.

You don’t have to feel bad about that. Everything in life has a solution (except death, as the saying goes). First, it’s good to understand that it’s not always bad to be impulsive  because it can help us not to be too shy or withdrawn, to get what we want and to make ourselves heard. It becomes a problem if we are always impulsive and not just in exceptional cases.

There are different types of impulsivity or compulsive people. The latter includes, for example, those who buy and collect a lot of clothes and items. That’s a topic for another article, but both compulsion and impulsivity are ways to express or respond to your emotions. We use anger, anger, nervousness, or sadness when something doesn’t go the way we want or expect or when we don’t know how to solve a problem.

Our way of expressing ourselves can convey many things. And we don’t always present our words and attitude in the best way. We may not have the intention of hurting anyone, but in the end we do.

If you are someone who often throws the first stone, if you answer without analyzing the situation first, if your first reaction is to get angry and fight, if you often feel angry and react by revenge or yelling, be careful . Impulsivity can deceive you badly.

Don’t make excuses: “I’m stressed”, “I wasn’t thinking”, “I have a lot of problems”, “I’m impulsive by nature”, “I’m on my period”…  By facing the situation and accepting that you If you have a problem with impulsivity, take the first step.

Then it is time for an action, not a reaction. This means that if your first reaction to a stimulus is a counterattack, it’s better to wait. You can count to ten (or twenty, or thirty) or take a deep breath. This will help you not to answer or yell until the other person has finished talking.

How can this help? Well, it doesn’t help you say the first thing that comes to mind, which is usually inappropriate or correct.

Sometimes a pause of a few seconds does not mean that the conversation will stop immediately  or that you have not understood something, but that you need time to absorb the information. You may appreciate your mind for working so fast, but that’s not always a good thing.

If you can put things in perspective, this is ultimately better. If you take the time to analyze the words of others and yourself, you can get better results. If impulsiveness is not the first thing that comes out of your mouth or body and you react in a different way, if you think and weigh your words before you speak, you will succeed.

Finally, I leave you with this reflection:  Always think what you want to do before you do anything. Don’t let impulsiveness dominate you or your path will be very dark. 

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