David Levithan once said, “Narcissism. You can’t believe I don’t own a very tall mirror.” In reality, narcissism is the search for the legality of being, as well as self-confidence. It is therefore easy to confuse narcissism and self-confidence. However, there are insurmountable differences between the two, and we will devote this article to them.
Narcissism and self-confidence both somehow strive for the legitimacy of being. So where’s the difference? Why are they so easily confused? It’s simple, while narcissism seeks legitimacy through a good image, self-confidence does so through a simple, unconditional existence.
Differences between narcissism and self-confidence
According to the above reasoning, it is clear that narcissism and self-confidence are opposites in their motivations and the forms they create. First, let’s take a look at two psychologists who worked on this confusion — Pilar Mallor and Manuel Villegas.
In their research, we find clear differences between narcissism and self-confidence, despite the existence of behaviors that may seem similar at first glance. How do we distinguish between these behaviours? Read more…
The narcissist has an exaggerated perception of himself
The main difference between a narcissistic person and a person with a lot of self-confidence is the self-image. Narcissists possess an exaggerated and distorted sense of importance. Self-confident people, on the other hand, experience inner satisfaction that is less bloated, but more legitimate.
The narcissist seeks well-being and security through an exaggerated self-image, which in reality is distorted self-perception. He shows a real internal vacuum in which an insecure person can hide.
On the other hand, a person with high self-esteem bases his well-being on satisfying relationships. He doesn’t attach too much importance to his self-image. Being confident means that you don’t have to exaggerate or highlight successes in front of others, but just love to celebrate them.
Assertiveness to the need for attention
A person with a lot of self-confidence is assertive. He knows how to listen and chooses when to talk. He does this with expertise and always adds value to the conversation. These people have emotional and social intelligence. In addition, they are patient and know that when it is their turn, they will have a valid opinion.
Narcissists, however, need attention given the exorbitant adoration of their self-image. They will always try to be in the spotlight. The center of attention. Let everyone know they’re there. They need constant worship from others.
Another way narcissists and self-confident people differ is in their ability to be empathetic. A person with healthy self-esteem can develop the patience and empathy essential for active listening through social interaction.
While a narcissist only thinks about himself and his image. Therefore, a person with healthy self-esteem is in a better position to interact with others. By not feeling the need to please others, it becomes easier to put yourself in the shoes of others. This will make it easier for you to understand different points of view, ideologies and feelings.
Selfishness and cooperation
Another key by which we can distinguish a narcissist from a person with healthy self-esteem is selfishness. It’s easy to think that someone who only thinks of themselves just has a lot of self-love. In reality, however, this person is so full of self-doubt that he is his own worst enemy.
While a person with high self-esteem knows when and how to show generosity and be cooperative, the narcissist is unable to do so. If it doesn’t help him, it’s hard for him to make an effort.
Arrogance vs Compassion
Arrogance is also a difference between narcissistic people and those with healthy self-esteem. While the former shows no compassion for others, except perhaps for themselves, people with enough self-confidence can truly love others and have a sense of worth. They appreciate the wonderful challenge of helping others.
Thus, the narcissist , in his arrogance, is usually aggressive, jealous, and must dominate others in order to feel good. He cannot accept criticism and will tend to take it personally, however neutral it may be. He will not learn from his mistakes, because he has a lot of trouble recognizing them and, above all, accepting them.
Narcissistic people and those with a lot of self-confidence seem very similar at first glance. However, over time, we can clearly see the differences between these two personalities.