Even Positive Change Is Not Always Painless

Even positive change isn't always painless

Every change is a challenge. Often it is an adventure that we embark on without knowing our final destination. Whether it is a positive change or a negative change, a change forces us to face the uncertainty of the future. At the same time, it forces us to leave behind the security measures we are used to.

Choosing to take a different path, a path where no other footprints can be seen, puts your bravery to the test. Often also your intelligence. It is a challenge to have to walk through rough terrain, even when we are convinced that the positive change is much better than our old way. We take up this challenge, for example to get a better job, to do some exercise, or to start a new relationship.

Changes take time

While a change can be positive, it is still quite an undertaking. Therefore, we have to go through a number of stages, which are accompanied by emotions and consequences. In addition, we must remember that our brains like certainty and stability, and the feeling of security of habituation. That’s why they fool us, making us doubt and nostalgic.

Similarly, there are  changes that lead us to what we want so badly, but which can also be painful. Change always means saying goodbye to things that have been part of our lives until now. These can be habits, people or situations. So what can we do to minimize this sense of loss?

Positive changes sometimes hurt

Saying goodbye, one of the hardest steps

Starting a new phase of life means that you have to say goodbye to another.  In order for everything to run smoothly, make sure you have completed the previous stage. That is, there is nothing or no one left waiting for an answer, and there are no cliffhangers . To achieve this it is necessary to say goodbye. But this is not always easy. You need courage for it. You also need to know what you want for yourself. However, this can still be complicated.

Saying goodbye to what we are doing or what we are feeling means  knowing and managing our feelings well. For example, if we’ve decided to get a divorce because we think it’s better, we need to learn to manage the grief of parting with our partner. Despite being a positive change, it hurts us.

Take control of your feelings

If we don’t manage our feelings well, they can undermine our change process. For example, they can ensure that the current phase does not stop. This can be out of fear, or indecision, or fear of what others think. If we don’t manage our emotional state, we get stuck in it. It is important to understand pain, sadness, and even frustration because of the positive change.

To help us move forward, we can ask ourselves what keeps us standing in the same place. We also need to ask ourselves what awaits us when we take the step, and what are the things we don’t want to lose. The answers to these questions will reveal a lot about the emotional confusion we feel. They will remind us of why we want to change.

Once we have resolved the doubts, we still have to accept the pain. That is, we have to go through the discomfort of leaving our cocoon and becoming a butterfly. Let’s not forget that a change is always a collection of gains and losses. Between our I from the past and the I from the future, and also during the path of the I of this moment. It is important to identify what we leave behind. And also the opportunities to come.

Butterfly at sunrise

Confronting the positive change

Saying goodbye to something that has been a part of our lives is not the last part of the change process. It’s not even the last part of the chapter. When the previous phase is closed, we must open ourselves to a new reality. This reality consists of our new attitude and behavior. It is a reality full of uncertainty that requires a process of adaptation to the consequences.

The positive change will push us towards a whole universe of possibilities and opportunities. In this universe, our attitude is our compass. This attitude is dependent on ourselves. Managing our emotional world is also necessary in this new phase. It is very important to remain calm. To remember the moments when we were lost but found ourselves.

There will be some aspects of the new situation that are good for us. Other aspects are new experiences. However, there will also be some that we don’t like very much. But in the end  , we ourselves are the ones who decide and have the responsibility. The secret lies in not losing ourselves on new journey.

As we can see,  positive change can also be painful because it means saying goodbye to part of our history. Letting go is the price we pay when we want and have to start a new phase of our lives.

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