7 Steps To Forget An Impossible Love

7 steps to forget an impossible love

An impossible love is a love that can never become a stable relationship, or that ends before it even begins. It seems paradoxical, but this is the kind of love that causes the deepest pain and is sometimes the hardest to forget. And it’s paradoxical because if in the end these loves never bloom, then in theory they should never cause such suffering.

Practical people are not concerned with impossible love. If they see that there are not the right conditions to maintain a loving bond, they accept that and stop in time. However, for others it is difficult to give up expectations, illusions or dreams that they have built around a relationship. Their feelings become stronger than the signs that the relationship isn’t going to work.

Somehow we never forget impossible loves. They leave huge marks on us precisely because they have neither peaked nor died out: the ideal of the relationship has never been broken. But even if we don’t forget everything, it is possible to process our feelings and put them aside so that we can move on. Here are seven suggestions for doing so.

1. Determine what makes it an impossible love

There is a huge difference between a difficult or problematic love and an impossible love. The latter is not possible. The most typical example, which also entails the most emotional problems, is unrequited love. Perhaps it is better to say that this is when one person loves and needs the other, but the other does not feel the same. True love is always mutual.

Of course, you can try to go after someone who initially shows no interest. However, it is important to understand that there is a point where it is necessary to accept that a particular relationship has no future. The same goes for other impossibilities that have the same thing in common: one loves and the other doesn’t. If the feeling isn’t mutual, it’s not possible.

An impossible love

2. Study your fantasies about love

We often find it difficult to get rid of an impossible love because we are influenced by fantasies that have become part of our culture. Examples include fantasies about the “soul mate” or the “love of your life.” These stereotypes fuel the idea that there is a person who is “destined” to be our partner.

While it’s a nice idea, it’s not realistic. Humans have the ability to love unconditionally. When you’re in a relationship that doesn’t work (anymore), confront the end of it and take the experience and wisdom it offered with you, and generally the next relationship is even better.

We can always start over and all new experiences can be better than the last. In fact, over time we learn to be more generous and tolerant in love if we are not bound by the impossible dreams we sometimes have.

3. Recognize the negative sides

Infatuation – not love – often makes us idealize people and situations. In some cases, we assign properties to relationships that they don’t really have or that they only slightly have. To overcome these mental constructs, it is important that we also look at the negative sides of a relationship.

What flaws does that person you think you love have? Is there or was there something you didn’t like about the relationship? Can you imagine what these flaws and flaws in the relationship would look like in ten years? These are questions you should ask yourself and try to answer in complete honesty. Your perspective may eventually become more realistic.

Man can't get woman out of his head, even though she's an impossible love

4. Accept it’s time to forget

This is the hardest step. It has been shown that when a person wants to be in a relationship and it’s not possible, it produces reactions similar to the reactions addicts have when they have withdrawal symptoms. Emotional turmoil, or even physical turmoil, sometimes becomes too hard to bear.

And as with addictions, what is most difficult to accept is the fact that there is a dependency, a dependence that causes deep suffering and a sense of powerlessness. It seems easy to admit, but it isn’t. Sometimes we are able to make up stories and rationalize every excuse not to have to accept that we are indeed the victims of dependence. Being able to accept this is the most important step. It helps you to focus and see which steps to follow.

5. Get rid of the tires and get rid of the keepsakes

After you have accepted that it is time to leave that impossible love behind, the next step is to break the bonds that remain. This means not calling, not trying to meet or run into each other again, distancing yourself from his or her friends, and anything else that helps us break those bonds we had with that person. It is especially important that we cut the ties we have with those on social media: they are the most insidious.

Likewise, we need to rid ourselves of mementos. Delete photos, throw away gifts. If you’re not ready to say goodbye to him or her, just put all your mementos together and put them away in a hard-to-reach place. If you are more determined in your decision, throw them away or destroy them. It is a way of dissolving and cutting away the presence of that impossible love.

Man is blind to love even though it's impossible love

6. Change your routine, try something new

It’s time for a fresh start. Your impossible love probably took a lot of time, days, even years. Letting go will not be easy at all. Nevertheless, if you decide to change something, little by little everything will become easier for you. Surely there are plenty of things you’ve always wanted to do that you’ve put off for one reason or another. Now it’s time to check off your ‘to-do’ list.

This period of saying goodbye forever is also a time when you can push yourself to do new things or see new places. Travel is always an excellent alternative. Why don’t you try? It’s also worth researching your skills, taking a course that will allow you to meet new people or try out an interesting hobby. Life goes on and there are thousands of things to do.

7. Give the time the time

There are different kinds of love. Some loves leave such a deep mark on us that they just won’t let go, no matter how much the tide has turned. Impossible love is almost always deeply rooted in us and calls us to remember. Letting go of an impossible love is therefore something that we would never succeed overnight. It requires determination, courage and character. It will be difficult and there will be small setbacks, but time will help you grow.

If it is clear to you that you cannot continue to nurture a love that cannot be; if you cut the ties and you decide to start over, you will gradually notice that person start to take up another space in your head and in your heart. Gradually you will feel more peace in your soul. You will find that in the process of loving and letting go you have learned a lot and grown.

Giving up impossible things is something we have to do every day, and as far as love is concerned, it couldn’t be less. Many of us are just hopeless dreamers. We don’t find it easy to accept that there are limits or that sometimes we have no other options but to accept them. The great thing is that by discovering and accepting the limits of our own possibilities, we also take a determined step to become better people.

Everything you experience is worth it. Even those frustrations that hurt us so much, because later these become the seeds of our greatest achievements. They are also the foundation on which we build our mature personality. This is a way of being that allows us to understand that the limit of our romantic fantasies lies in the free will of others.

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