5 Mariela Michelena Quotes About Relationships

5 Mariela Michelena Quotes About Relationships

The years go by and we get older, but we have also become trapped in illusions and expectations that cause our relationships to become one disaster after another. We keep hitting the same rock. Maybe Mariela Michelena can help us get rid of some of those old beliefs once and for all and trade them in for more healthy versions.

Mariela Michelena quotes

1. “Suffering for love is free”

Mariela Michelena says something very powerful here. Sometimes you can prevent suffering, sometimes you can’t. In the latter cases, we can make a profit if we manage the pain intelligently. Perhaps you are suffering because you cannot have children or because you do not have enough money to meet your needs.

However, when we talk about suffering for love, we are talking about suffering as a result of not loving or not being loved well. Does he or she have no respect for you? Are you with someone because you are afraid of being alone? In these cases you have sorrow from an unhealthy love.

If we suffer for love, we get nothing in return, even though we often think we do. “If I don’t say anything, he will stay with me; if I don’t say what I think, he won’t leave me.”  These thoughts make a relationship unhealthy and our attitudes self-destructive. It is not worth it.

Suffering for love

2. “We turn every old frog we encounter into the prince on the white horse”

This is one of Mariela Michelena’s quotes where she talks about the classic, eternal search for our ‘prince in a white horse’. A quest that often doesn’t end well, because our frustration with him not coming along makes us turn every old frog into a prince on a white horse.

In the end, we manage to take off our blinders and see the real reality. Then we feel cheated by that other person, when we ourselves are the ones who idealized him or her.

A lot of people don’t wait until they really like someone. Others get hopes and expectations at the very first greeting. Hurry is never good; especially when it comes to relationships. At this point we should start weighing what it is we want and what we are looking for. Then we have to open our eyes to see if the person in front of us matches that image.

3. “A man is not a baby”

A lot of people treat their partner as if they were a baby. For example, a woman acts like a mother and treats her boyfriend or husband as if he were a small child. There is a corresponding response, when the “baby” offers her unconditional love.

Unconditional love is a love without conditions. As Mariela Michelena says, “the person who loves with unconditional love offers it because they want it, because they feel it, and because they make the decisions in the relationship.” No reciprocity is needed. It is enough – or more than enough – in itself. It is the love we can give to a child, but not to a partner.

When we stop analyzing the situation, we realize that loving a man like a baby is simply an illusion, a fantasy in our head. When we open our eyes, we realize that this child is bearded, mature and self-sufficient. Giving him unconditional love is equivalent to giving enormous power to someone who can hurt us a lot. In fact, it says a lot about how little we love ourselves.

A man is not a baby

4. “Lifelong passion? Some people can have it, but most can’t”

Mariela Michelena warns us about the common belief that once we have found true love, the passion will never go away. But that is not true. Ultimately, love alone cannot keep the passion on the same level forever. We must do this ourselves through action and dedication.

While there are couples where the passion lasts for a long time, the “normal” scenario is that it takes effort to maintain. If not done, it may disappear and cause problems and frustration.

5. “Women are capable of sacrificing themselves for love”

This last thought from Mariela Michelena that we share with you is one that is very important. It is about realizing the limits of love: we determine what we give. In all relationships we should have clear boundaries.

These boundaries are different for every person and for every relationship. For example, some people do not tolerate infidelity. For others, there may be tolerance depending on how it happens (a one night stand versus multiple cheating, for example). It remains important for all of us to set our boundaries.

Sacrifice for love

However, it seems we forget all this when we get into a relationship. We are capable of the craziest things. Anything to hold on to something that might not even last. Is it because we have no borders? Do we really have so little self-esteem?

The trick to not falling into a destructive relationship is to take care of our self-esteem. We must not exceed the limits that we have established in line with our values. Above all, however, we must learn to detach ourselves from the beliefs and expectations that cause us to idealize people.

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